The Ignoring Is Mutual
I had some girlfriend time last night with two pregnant friends. When my now two-year-old was born, these same friends and I were simultaneously pregnant and relished time together to dish the details of our mutual confinement.
This time around, I get to be an enthusiastic spectator and, as I found last night, a dispenser of maternal wisdom. (Not sure there is such a thing in this house, but I played along...) Their big question was, "Did you find it harder to go from no children to one child, or from one child to two?"
As you can imagine, that question gave me pause. I tried to remember the time when our oldest was a baby, and all I came up with was a rosy image of him sitting on my lap during babytime at the public library, me taking outings to walk at the mall before it opened or enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend while he sat contentedly in his baby carrier, and both of us being utterly smitten with each other. When I thought a little harder, what I recalled what a great deal of difficulty in the first year of letting go of my former professional self. Hmmm, so that was tough, but...
When I considered the switch from a single toddler to an infant AND a toddler, I could remember very little, a good sign that I was slammed beyond reason with responsibility at that stage of my life. The things that did come to mind were the day that a little boy ran out in a lane of traffic through a parking lot as I took his baby sister out of the car and the pandemonium that ensues toward the end of almost every grocery-shopping trip with my two children. So I was left to conclude that the second transition was the more difficult one.
But as any parent of more than one child knows, sibling interaction helps to alleviate the additional work that comes with additional kids. Even kids who are two years apart play together quite well, leaving a mom free to practice the sanity-saving approach of ignoring her children for brief interludes in each day.
It struck me this morning, though, that this ignoring is sometimes mutual. I walked into the living room to find our kids happily playing "Bob the Builder" with their Scoop and Lofty Duplo set. When I tried to get their attention to say hello, they gave me little more than a passing glance before getting back to business. "Can we ignore Mom?" "YES WE CAN!!!"
Perhaps realizing, after a second child comes along, that your children sometimes like each other more than they like you makes that transition from one to two difficult, too. But boy, it sure is a good thing when you want to sleep for a few more minutes or write a blog post at 7:20 AM...
This time around, I get to be an enthusiastic spectator and, as I found last night, a dispenser of maternal wisdom. (Not sure there is such a thing in this house, but I played along...) Their big question was, "Did you find it harder to go from no children to one child, or from one child to two?"
As you can imagine, that question gave me pause. I tried to remember the time when our oldest was a baby, and all I came up with was a rosy image of him sitting on my lap during babytime at the public library, me taking outings to walk at the mall before it opened or enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend while he sat contentedly in his baby carrier, and both of us being utterly smitten with each other. When I thought a little harder, what I recalled what a great deal of difficulty in the first year of letting go of my former professional self. Hmmm, so that was tough, but...
When I considered the switch from a single toddler to an infant AND a toddler, I could remember very little, a good sign that I was slammed beyond reason with responsibility at that stage of my life. The things that did come to mind were the day that a little boy ran out in a lane of traffic through a parking lot as I took his baby sister out of the car and the pandemonium that ensues toward the end of almost every grocery-shopping trip with my two children. So I was left to conclude that the second transition was the more difficult one.
But as any parent of more than one child knows, sibling interaction helps to alleviate the additional work that comes with additional kids. Even kids who are two years apart play together quite well, leaving a mom free to practice the sanity-saving approach of ignoring her children for brief interludes in each day.
It struck me this morning, though, that this ignoring is sometimes mutual. I walked into the living room to find our kids happily playing "Bob the Builder" with their Scoop and Lofty Duplo set. When I tried to get their attention to say hello, they gave me little more than a passing glance before getting back to business. "Can we ignore Mom?" "YES WE CAN!!!"
Perhaps realizing, after a second child comes along, that your children sometimes like each other more than they like you makes that transition from one to two difficult, too. But boy, it sure is a good thing when you want to sleep for a few more minutes or write a blog post at 7:20 AM...
posted by Lisa Strandberg at 7:20 AM
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