Santa's Secret Is Out

When I was a girl, I thought (like all kids do) that Santa got around in a sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer—nine if you count Rudolph—and that he left all the present preparation to the elves.

Now that I'm grown, I know that Santa skulks around between 8 and 11pm when the mall is tolerable and, when it really matters, has little regard for sales. He also occasionally breaks up a late-night shopping trip with a 10pm Cosmopolitan. Not that there's anything wrong with that.